Boston Driving is an experience. You got your Dunks in one hand, and a terribly smashed iPhone 4 in the other. You pass by the Bunker Hill Memorial and you yell out your window “Yeah ‘F the redcoats!” Insert something about the Patriots and Tom Brady, something about “takin’ ya mah out fuh some labstah dinnah”, and last but not least, say “wicked” 6-7 times during your ride. Congrats, you’re driving in Boston. These are all stereotypes, although almost all of them have some form of truth, the biggest truth is that driving through Boston can be a hassle, but so can literally any other city. If you feel so inclined to complain about it, you’re obviously not from here, which you should either very quickly get used to it, stop driving, or leave.
You Have No Idea Where You are Going/ Its Not That Hard To Figure it Out
Listen, I grew up in New Hampshire. You know, the place where rich people move to avoid Mass tax? The place where Robert Frost was like ” Yo, I’m out” then proceeded to write sad-boy poetry in the woods? The “Live Free or Die” state. Yeah, we’re just to the north. The layout of the city is hard, but not that hard. I mean, c’mon, the majority of 93 is under it. Everyone not from there is like “It’s all farm roads that have no direction” and I’m sitting here, from a land of, like, maybe one road in his town going “so?”. Relax, take your time, ignore the guy flipping out cause he obviously knows that you don’t know where you’re going but is incessant on you getting out of the way. If you can’t, we understand, we just want you to not know where you’re going faster.
Boston Driving: Drivers are Rude/ Except They Aren’t
Listen, we can be crass. We can have a sharpness to us. It makes us, you know, us. Historically, how many people from Los Angeles defeated the British during the American Revolution? None. Those guys can’t win anything. Or at least nothing that important. We, on the other hand, do. It’s also cold. There’s a reason for everything, but if you’re from out of the area, you might feel that sharpness in our drivers. It’s okay, you can relax. Even if someone is giving you a hard time, there are more instances where you can give them a hard time back. We almost like it. It’s okay to make a rude gesture at a New England driver and have them do the same and move on with your lives. Unlike LA where if you did that, they’ll either cry or try to murder you.
The Roads Are Bad/ Yeah…They’re Actually Kinda Bad
Yeah, we get it. As soon as you cross the New Hampshire/Massachusetts border, you’re instantly met with roads of lesser quality. There’s an actual line on the border where 93 becomes significantly worse. You’d think that with the amount of taxes the state collects, they’d be able to fix them accordingly, but still, here we are, swerving potholes and dodging slightly raised manhole covers.
Overall your experience in Boston should be an enjoyable one. If you don’t know where you’re going that’s fine. If you have a hard time dealing with traffic, that’s fine too, these issues happen with every city and if you’re from out of the area, it’ll take time for you to get used to as well. There are must worse places to drive…like Chicago. That place actually sucks to drive in.